The Pittie Poem

I saw this poem and being a Pit bull owner I HAD to share. Anyone that knows my dog, knows he is the sweetest friendliest dog you will ever meet. We saved him from the pound when he was 11 months old and i couldnt ask for a better dog. I get extremely offended when people sterotype him because he is unlike any dog you'll ever meet.

"Please don't believe what you hear

They have made me a poster dog and instilled this fear.

I may be big and I may be strong

But I have done NOTHING wrong.

A vicious cycle, I wish I were never born.

Into the hands of a monster, now my heart's been torn.

They threw me in the pit, I could hear the people cheer.

Blood on the walls, no fight in me....Just fear.

I am of no value now, they tossed me aside.

As I lay bleeding, I have no place to hide.

And now I am taken to a grey, scary place.

I am cut and wounded from my tail to my face.

Here I lay alone, on this cold cement floor.

Waiting for my chance, to get out the door.

I only have a day or two before I am put to death.

A day or two more till I breathe my last breath.

But I haven't had the chance to show you..... I'm a good boy.

I never had a treat, I never had a toy.

I am a Pit Bull, It doesn't mean that I will bite.

It doesn't mean I am a devil, it doesn't mean I want to fight.

Look into my eyes once as you pass me by.

Can you really see a killer?....Come on, don't lie.

You know you see something, a soulful sadness in my eye.

Please take me out of here.

Please......Don't let me die."

 

I know there are bad dogs out there but i think any beerd of dog has the potential. I have been bit by a Chow and my brother was bit by a German Shepard....Go figure...never by a pit.

I believe its all on how you raise them and usually its NOT the case of a bad dog, but a bad owner.

How can anyone resist those sweet puppy dog eyes...............
..........???

Finally some good news ;-)

The surgery was last Wednesday and everything went really well. I was actually really impressed with MUSC. I know it’s the biggest/best hospital around but I also work there so I know things don’t always happen super quickly. I arrived at 5:35 and about 10-15mins later they already had me in registration. 10 mins after that the nurse came and took me back to the holding room where they keep the patients before surgery. By 7am they had me changed and the IV in and I was ready to roll into surgery. It all happened really fast and there was no waiting around time for me to get nervous. Jason said the procedure only took 30mins and I was in the Recovery room. Of course when I woke up I didn’t feel good at all. Anesthesia makes you nauseous and I was defiantly feeling it. Jason went to fill my prescriptions which we did at the hospital’s pharmacy and ended up paying only $21 for the 4 different prescriptions they gave me!!! The car ride home was rough but when I got home I ate a little, took every type of medication they gave me and went in the room to sleep. I was out for about 4 hours and when I woke up I felt fine and have ever since. I was really pleased with how everything went.

After a wonderful Christmas vacation, it was back to work Monday.

I am technically supposed to be on light duty because I have stitches in and they don’t want me doing anything to strenuous. Anyone that works in x-ray or at a hospital for that matter knows that light duty is a tall order. There are just too many things to do and too little people to do them. I was pushing the portable machine down the hall (which I’m probably not supposed to be doing, but its self propelled so it’s not like it’s heavy) and who do I see???? My GYN Oncologist!! She said ‘hi’ and then stopped to talk. I really thought she was going to fuss at me for being back at work already and pushing the machine but she said that she had needed to call me anyway because the pathology report had come back already on my biopsies. I just had the procedure done on Wednesday so I was really surprised it was back already! She said she had good news and back news…. The good news was that they took a large piece of my cervix and the margins came back negative which mean they got it all!!!! The only bad news was in the piece they took there was a small amount of Cancer in it as well. I wasn’t really sure how to take this but she said it was good and that I don’t have to have the hysterectomy right now. I still need to have it eventually but since they got everything out I can wait and try to have a baby first!!!! There is still a chance it can come back or be in my uterus. Once I have the hysterectomy that will all be taken care of, but until then they will just continue to watch me!!! I am soooo excited!!! I come off Depo in February and I will be healed from this last procedure by then!!! Chances are if I do get pregnant I may have to have a C-section but im ok with that. I am going to talk to my Doctor and see If they do a C-section if they can do the hysterectomy at the same time because I’m gonna be one and done. No more after that. So thank you to everyone wishing me well and keeping me in your thoughts!

Well I go in next Wed. the 23rd to have my 'surgery', I wasn’t too nervous till my pre-op appointment yesterday. It's just nerve racking knowing that your going to be put to sleep with a tube stuck down your throat and possibly a catheter in.....ugh!

The last biopsy they took wasn’t scar tissue like they had hoped so the oncologist is a little worried that she can visibly see the bad cells. I am still hoping to try for a baby after this but it really all depends on how the results of this come back. They could get in there and it is a lot worse then what they thought. Hopefully it will be a quick and easy procedure because Christmas is TWO days later!!! I’m crazy for doing it then but it was the only days I could get off!!

I’m still optimistic and whatever happens happens. It's in God's hands and I trust his judgment.....still wish me luck ;-)

Surprise

Surprise! I have completely changed my mind again. I was at Taylor’s soccer game yesterday talking to Jason and my mom about everything that’s going on and after talking with them I have decided I want to try to have another baby. Both my mom and Jason are SOOOOOOOO very supportive of me and they agree with whatever I decide to do. I feel like if I don’t TRY I will regret it forever. This new decision doesn’t mean for sure I'm going to be able to have another baby but if I have the choice that’s what I want and then I will have the hysterectomy immediately after.


First I have to get the results back from the biopsy I had done the other day. That’s probably the biggest thing I’m waiting on right now. If it doesn’t come back as cancer then I think I'm going to skip the Cone since it increases my chances of having a preterm delivery so much. I took my last shot of Depo in November so it won’t be till February that I’m off of that.

I already decided I would not be taking the Depo anymore anyway. I’m really excited to get off of it. I have been on it since I had Taylor and in January that will be 10 years!!!! I can’t believe my baby is so big!!! But the bonus is she will be a HUGE help with a new baby.

I think we will set a time limit on how long to try for. Like I said before they don’t want me to wait any longer than 5 years to have the hysterectomy. I think once I come off the Depo in Feb we will try for exactly one year. If nothing happens in that year then I will have the hysterectomy done. From what they tell me this isn’t something I want to wait around on and I still have to talk to them and tell them this is what I want to do...we'll see...

I feel like I have to try and then if it doesn’t happen then that’s God's way of taking it out of my hands. I have been on the fence about this for so long I’m really excited that a decision will be made one way or another.

I feel like he knows what’s best for me so I fully accept whatever that is.

These are a lot of if's.....if the biopsies come back ok.....if I am even able to get pregnant... if its cancer....if if if.....

So I can decide on something today and then have to change it tomorrow.....

Either way I’m ready for whatever comes my way ;-)

Decisions

I had my first appointment with my gyn oncologist yesterday at the Hollings Cancer Center at MUSC. My regular OB sent me there because of the results of my last LEEP.

I was really nervous before i went because i didn't know if i would get any new information or if we would just be going over the same things i have already been told.

My wonderful husband knew i was nervous and came to meet me for my appointment. i told him he didn't need to come but he insisted. He wanted to hear everything they were telling me so i didn't have to come home and try to summarize.

Basically i didn't get any new information. She just told me that the LEEP results had come back not so good so they want to do another one called a Cone LEEP where they take a bigger piece of cervix from the inside instead of the outside. It's very similar to the last procedure i had done except they will do this one in the OR. I already knew they were wanting to do this so no surprise there. When they do this they are hoping to get all the bad cells out and have negative margins but if they don't then they have to be more aggressive. She took a look to see how i had healed from the last procedure and right then and there decided to do a biopsy. That was a little unexpected and hurt but she said she saw a spot that didn't look so good but thought it was just scare tissue from the last procedure. Since i was under the research study the last time she doesn't have access to the piece they took so she cant have it tested herself. She had not planned on doing the biopsy but now she will have something she can test. If it comes back like it has been they will do the Cone. If it comes back as cancer they want me to have a hysterectomy. That's a scary word for a 26 year old but my regular OB had already told me this.

I'm not upset i might have cancer and might need a hysterectomy, I'm upset that this will mean no more kids. I wont have a choice. I could postpone the hysterectomy and try to get pregnant but as soon as i had a baby they would want me to get the hysterectomy done. They don't really advise this. With me having two LEEP's done my chances of having a preterm baby have greatly increased. Jason and I have still not really decided if we want more kids or not. With his 2 and my 1, when they are all together its alot. I'm kinda on the fence about this one. Of course i want a child with my husband but I'm not sure if either one of us is ready to start all over again. And now with all this cancer talk going on i HAVE to make a decision. Even if the biopsies don't come back as cancer they want me to eventually have the hysterectomy done. They feel the cells are bad enough that it is progressing that way and the best thing to do is take everything out so we don't have to worry about it. They don't want me to wait 20 years to do it. They want me to wait a max of 5 and if i have a child before then to do it as soon as i have a baby. This puts a lot of pressure on me. I have decided that if it comes back as cancer i will just have the hysterectomy done and skip they Cone (this is also what they want me to do) if it doesn't come back as cancer i still have to have the Cone and then we see from there. The Cone results could come back bad since it will give them a much bigger area to test and i could still have to have the hysterectomy. Either way i have to have the hysterectomy i just have to decide when. Do it now and not worry about cancer or try to have a baby and hope it doesn't progress into severe cancer while I'm waiting because basically that's what my cells are turning to.......These are HUGE decisions.......