My last dare was to continue to say nothing negative and to be kind. I really had no idea what to do, so Friday night while Jason was on his way back from getting the kids I told him to let me know when he was almost home. When he asked why I told him because I was going to have something ready for him. Since he can read me like a book, it didn't take him long to figure out I was trying to have his dinner ready and on the table for him as soon as he walked in the door. He text me and let me know that he and the kids had already stopped for dinner, (When Jason his hungry, he's HUNGRY!!!) but said thank you anyway. So that plan was foiled!
This made me relate to the movie that goes with the book. There were a few times during it when the main character, Kurt Cameron, was trying to do something kind for his wife, like make her coffee, and she didn't have time for it. But I tried to remember that this never stopped him and he kept trying.
The night before some friends of ours mentioned they were going to be having people over that night. Jason insisted that he would stay home with the kids so that I could go.
I tried to talk him into just leaving the oldest one in charge and both of us go but he wasn't having it (j/k)
Since dinner did not work out the way I planned I told him he should go. I was able to convince him that my throat hurt (which it did) and that spending the night drinking and talking was not going to make me feel any better (which it wouldn't) I didn't tell him that I did really want to go, because I didn't want to make him feel bad and I really really wanted to be able to complete this dare. So he went with my brother to our friends and I stayed home with the kids and was passed out about 15 mins after I put them in bed. Mission accomplished!!!!
The next morning Jason went out to get his hair cut and when he came home he had a big bouquet of roses!!! I wanted to cry, it was so sweet and unexpected at 9 o'clock in the morning, while I was still on the couch in my pj's!!! Come to find out he had also gotten my mom flowers for Valentines day and left them on her porch because she wasn't home when he went to give them to her!! That's when my heart melted!! He totally didn't have to do that for my mom! Heck usually I'M the one that gets her the flowers out of my family!!! The funny part was when she came over to watch the kids later that night, so me and Jason could go on our date, she tried to thank me for them! I told her I had nothing to do with them, so Isabella took all the credit and said they were HER idea!!! Too cute coming from a 6 year old! Poor Jason, he let her take all the glory!
We ended up going downtown to eat at Toast. Jason was disappointed because when we looked at their menu online, it said they had jerk chicken. When we got there, guess what, no jerk chicken on the menu. This is where the night started to go downhill.
*(Pause)* Let me say; I write about this because this is not a place for me to only highlight the good part of our relationship. The book gives you pages after every chapter to write your thoughts and feelings. It's easier for me to write it here than in the book. Our relationship is NOT perfect. Nor is anyone elses. And anyone who claims any different is lying to themselves and to everyone else. I am not here to paint the picture perfect life. I write about my life so I can look back later and see where I made my mistakes and also to see what worked. Both Jason and I have a lot of things we need to work on and the way the rest of the night went is a perfect example of that.
Since there was no jerk chicken Jason was a little upset, and at first didn't even want to eat. I pointed out some of the things on the menu he would like and when the server came, he pretty much made up his own entree. While he was ordering I told the server what kind of sides Jason wanted and after the server left, Jason said he was cool, he could order for himself. Now this is one of those things i cant help doing sometimes. He drives him crazy!! I'm not sure if its just a guy thing, macho man can order for himself, or what. But anyway, I was a little offended he snapped at me over something so silly. Well guess what, I couldn't hold my tongue about it or how it made me feel. You would think i would have learned by now, that getting smart with him is never the way to solve things, but in the heat of the moment I lost my cool. Afterwards I tried to make it up by making conversation, which helped, but you could tell there was still a little tension.
We finished dinner, peacefully, and went to the movie. However before we left the restaurant, I downed my second glass of wine. BAD IDEA! Wine makes me silly and a little weepy. By the time we got to the movies i was in tears telling him how i was putting forth all this effort and he wasn't putting forth any. I stomped into the movies by myself and ordered, another, glass of wine. (silly silly girl) I text him and told him if he cared at all for me he would come in, which he did. We ordered popcorn and watched the movie, which sucked, I don't recommend seeing He's Just Not That Into You. On the way home i pouted the whole time, while he was rubbing my leg and trying to make me feel better. We got home and he went in one room and i went into another. That's a pretty long story but i felt the need to tell it.
First lesson is by now i should know not to let my feelings get hurt so easy, he usually doesn't mean to hurt them in the first place. Second, STAY AWAY FROM THE WINE, just about every time I drink it i end up in tears (or with a severe headache). Third, sulking is never the way to turn the situation around. It only makes it worse.
So the next morning i got up and went and layed on top of him. This is my way of saying sorry. He accepted but was feeling really sick and stayed in bed the whole day, while I went out with the kids. I didn't really get to make it up to him because after he dropped the kids off he went straight to bed. Poor boy has the flu or something.
I accomplished my dare on Friday but then on Saturday reverted back to all my old ways. Then had to spend all day Sunday trying to make up and get his forgiveness. Which he readily gave. But all because i couldn't keep my mouth closed. Hopefully lesson learned.
Now onto the next dare.
Lesson 3:
Love is not Selfish
The Dare:
Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says "I was thinking of you today"
I already have things in mind for this, but ill tell you about them tomorrow since this is already so long!!
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